"The best days of your life"
by
justifyourewondering
- 17:50
For so many years, and of all the songs I've heard over the course of my time at school, one lyric in particular (from Letter to Me by Brad Paisley) has stuck with me, and stands as the best piece of advice and reassurance I think I've ever been given;
"And I'd end up saying 'have no fear
These are no where near the best days of your life."
In the song, Brad Paisley sings to his 17 year old self who is struggling his way through school, giving him the advice and words that he wished he had received at that age, on everything from love to driving. In doing this, he provides him the assurance that no matter what people say, he has so many better days to come.
We've all heard it at one point or another, and probably on more than one occasion. Letting the words "I hate school" fall out of your mouth only to be met with a parent or carer informing you of what you've already been told at least a 1000 times before, "hold on to your school days, you don't know it yet but they are the best days of your life."
As I am fast approaching my final weeks of high school, I finally understand why so many people believe this. I can finally see through the rose tinted glasses my mum and dad have been wearing for years, and I understand where they're coming from when they tell me it. School provides a safety net; there is always someone to look out for you, whether that's in the form of a teacher or a solid group of friends, there are no 'real' commitments, and the amount of work involved is something that is too often trivialised. Even now, I can look at the year below me and think that they don't have it as bad as me, because I have to think about the future and what I'm doing and where I'm going, when the reality is, they have it SO much harder than me. Something I should be aware of, seen as I lived through the stress of having to ace the exams my future almost entirely depended on.
I can already see myself reminiscing about going to the canteen at break and lunch, about all the old teachers I had, about silly things like gum under tables and drawings in French dictionaries. Even things like the wet toilet roll that was thrown onto the ceiling of the girls toilets years ago which got stuck to the point that it remains there today, people setting other people's hair on fire with Bunsen burners, and all the other stupidly funny things that happened over the years. I finally understand why my mum and dad always explained that I am living the best days of my life.
However, from the very beginning, I swore that despite whatever I may think in the long run, I will never tell my own children, or anyone else going through their own high school experience, that those are the 'best days' of their lives. Quite frankly, I have been miserable for a good 90% of my high school career, and I refuse to forget the suffering I went through while at school. There was absolutely no good in the paranoia I felt (and still feel) on the bus and walking between classes everyday. There's nothing good about how fat my blazer makes me look and feel. There is nothing good in feeling too shy or scared to talk to people you actually consider friends. School is a dark place, and to forget that does not do justice to the misery I've felt over the years.
In school you can often feel trapped, the school year lasts for the majority of the year, and all your free time is laden with homework, projects and revision for tests and exams. It is not an option to not take your problems home with you, seen as you are set the task of just fixing it at home daily. I am aware that this is something that is faced for the majority of your working life, but that doesn't lessen the fact that this is your first experience of such a heavy workload - which on top of it, comes from up to 8 different subjects, most of which don't even interest you at all. Personally, the workload wasn't too big an issue, I enjoyed being able to sit down and let myself come consumed by studying (for me this meant good music and sweeties - every cloud has a silver lining). Unfortunately, most people are unable to say the same. There are a lot of young people today forced and pressured to meet expectations that are much higher than they are capable of achieving, which in too many cases can lead to anxiety and other stress induced illnesses.
I am aware now, more so than ever, that my opinions on school will change over time. That I'll look back and sadly think about the funnier side of it all - and likely I'll long to return. In those memories, the good points will outweigh the bad ones, but in reality that just wasn't how it was.
No one benefits from the belief that your high school days are the best ones of your life. Not only does it fill those being told with dread about how miserable the rest of their life will be if they are feeling miserable in that moment, but it puts down the life of those making the statement and everything they have achieved in the time since their own school days, which in most cases includes exactly what Brad Paisley sings about in Letter To Me - getting married and having kids of their own.
I am in no way putting down any of the amazing experiences and blessings that school has given me personally, including trips to places like Belgium, London and Barcelona, and all the friendships I've made over the years - I'm SO grateful that I've had all that, but it doesn't mask the uglier side of school.
Not everyone has the same experiences, and although some may even realise that they are living the 'best days' of their life right there and then, some may also be genuinely experiencing their worst, and to tell them otherwise, in most cases, doesn't help anyone.
"And I'd end up saying 'have no fear
These are no where near the best days of your life."
In the song, Brad Paisley sings to his 17 year old self who is struggling his way through school, giving him the advice and words that he wished he had received at that age, on everything from love to driving. In doing this, he provides him the assurance that no matter what people say, he has so many better days to come.
We've all heard it at one point or another, and probably on more than one occasion. Letting the words "I hate school" fall out of your mouth only to be met with a parent or carer informing you of what you've already been told at least a 1000 times before, "hold on to your school days, you don't know it yet but they are the best days of your life."
As I am fast approaching my final weeks of high school, I finally understand why so many people believe this. I can finally see through the rose tinted glasses my mum and dad have been wearing for years, and I understand where they're coming from when they tell me it. School provides a safety net; there is always someone to look out for you, whether that's in the form of a teacher or a solid group of friends, there are no 'real' commitments, and the amount of work involved is something that is too often trivialised. Even now, I can look at the year below me and think that they don't have it as bad as me, because I have to think about the future and what I'm doing and where I'm going, when the reality is, they have it SO much harder than me. Something I should be aware of, seen as I lived through the stress of having to ace the exams my future almost entirely depended on.
I can already see myself reminiscing about going to the canteen at break and lunch, about all the old teachers I had, about silly things like gum under tables and drawings in French dictionaries. Even things like the wet toilet roll that was thrown onto the ceiling of the girls toilets years ago which got stuck to the point that it remains there today, people setting other people's hair on fire with Bunsen burners, and all the other stupidly funny things that happened over the years. I finally understand why my mum and dad always explained that I am living the best days of my life.
However, from the very beginning, I swore that despite whatever I may think in the long run, I will never tell my own children, or anyone else going through their own high school experience, that those are the 'best days' of their lives. Quite frankly, I have been miserable for a good 90% of my high school career, and I refuse to forget the suffering I went through while at school. There was absolutely no good in the paranoia I felt (and still feel) on the bus and walking between classes everyday. There's nothing good about how fat my blazer makes me look and feel. There is nothing good in feeling too shy or scared to talk to people you actually consider friends. School is a dark place, and to forget that does not do justice to the misery I've felt over the years.
In school you can often feel trapped, the school year lasts for the majority of the year, and all your free time is laden with homework, projects and revision for tests and exams. It is not an option to not take your problems home with you, seen as you are set the task of just fixing it at home daily. I am aware that this is something that is faced for the majority of your working life, but that doesn't lessen the fact that this is your first experience of such a heavy workload - which on top of it, comes from up to 8 different subjects, most of which don't even interest you at all. Personally, the workload wasn't too big an issue, I enjoyed being able to sit down and let myself come consumed by studying (for me this meant good music and sweeties - every cloud has a silver lining). Unfortunately, most people are unable to say the same. There are a lot of young people today forced and pressured to meet expectations that are much higher than they are capable of achieving, which in too many cases can lead to anxiety and other stress induced illnesses.
I am aware now, more so than ever, that my opinions on school will change over time. That I'll look back and sadly think about the funnier side of it all - and likely I'll long to return. In those memories, the good points will outweigh the bad ones, but in reality that just wasn't how it was.
No one benefits from the belief that your high school days are the best ones of your life. Not only does it fill those being told with dread about how miserable the rest of their life will be if they are feeling miserable in that moment, but it puts down the life of those making the statement and everything they have achieved in the time since their own school days, which in most cases includes exactly what Brad Paisley sings about in Letter To Me - getting married and having kids of their own.
I am in no way putting down any of the amazing experiences and blessings that school has given me personally, including trips to places like Belgium, London and Barcelona, and all the friendships I've made over the years - I'm SO grateful that I've had all that, but it doesn't mask the uglier side of school.
Not everyone has the same experiences, and although some may even realise that they are living the 'best days' of their life right there and then, some may also be genuinely experiencing their worst, and to tell them otherwise, in most cases, doesn't help anyone.
